Miraculous Moment #10 - Unfolded; After I Was No Longer Asking "WHY" I'd Been "Spiritually Told" to Give Up My Driver's Licence?

Hello Again...

& SOooo... OK Nowwwwww... That I Have -

Both Shared With & Explained to You - in the Most Recent Spiritual Journey Postings...

of M.M. #8 and #9

"How"

The Dragonfly Had at "First" - "Symbolically" Come into My Life...

!!!!!!!!

& - I Have Also - Shared & Explained - in Those Previous Blog Chapters...

"When"

These Events Had in Fact Occurred...

Back When I'd "FIRST" Received Both of The Dragonfly Gifts -

On 2 Separate Occasions - & Within a Short time period between each Occurance -

& - From Complete Strangers...

& - One of Which was Located in - St Augustine S.C. ... & the Other in - Charleston S.C.

!!!!!!!

This "Now" Leaves Me...

With "Just" That Big -

"WHY"

Part of That Question... Concerning -

"How" - "When" &

"Why"

My -

"Spiritual-Guide"

Had in Fact - Symbolically-Introduced Me To The Dragonfly - in the First Place...

Left For Me to Answer... Here In Today's Conversation

& so - First off - On a More-Personal Note -

I Believe that "Perhaps" - the Reason "WHY" -

I "Try" (Note the Word "TRY")

To - NOT USE - The Wording -

("WHY?")

Whenever I'm Directly-Speaking With My -

"Spiritual-Guide"

!!!!!!!!!!

Is Simply Because - I Myself - Have Personally Experienced - The Ways in Which...

A Child - While Speaking to Their Parents... or Perhaps Their Caregivers...

Will - "Quite FREQUENTLY" - Be -

Continuously Vocalizing -

Towards - Whomever is - "Patiently" Trying to -

"Re-Explain" (over & Over Again) to Them -

Whatever it is That They're Needing to Know; or Simply be Able to Understand

!!!!!!!!!!

Questions Such as -

"WHY?...Do I Have to do That?" -

IN THE FIRST PLACE???

& - or -

"WHY"?... Do I Have to Do It -

"Your"

Way?"

& Not the Way - That I Want to do it???

or - Perhaps - The Really Common Questions - of -

"WHY?... Can't -

"You"

Just - Get "Somebody Else" to do it?"...

Instead of Me!"

or -

"WHY????...

??????????????

Actually... I Don't Believe that - I'll Need to Give Anymore "WHY?" Examples...

As I'm Quite Sure That - You'll Have By Now... Fully-Gotten -

My "Explanatory-Drift"

& that You're Thereby Able to Understand -

The Frustrating - *&^%$#@!* "Repetitive" - Verbal-Connections -

Which I've Over the Years - Personally Placed - Into that Often - "Nerve-Wracking" -

"Explanatory-Questioning Word" -

"WHY"

?????

& ESPECIALLY - If You've - Raised - Taught - or "Tried" to -

"Re-Explain"... Again & Again & Again... ”Anything” -

To a Continuously - "Questioning" Child

And Hence - that is How -

It had Come to be - That -

Due to - My Personal Parenting *&^%$#@!* WHY MOM? Experiences -

That I "Was" (& of Course "Still Am") Always "Trying" -

(Note the Word "Trying")

To the Best of My Mortal-Questioning Abilities -

To Somehow Refrain From Using That - "*&^%$#@!* - "W" Word" - at All -

During Any of My "Prayer-Conversations" - With My -

"Spiritual-Parent"

!!!!!!!!!

& Although - Yes... I Would (& Still Do) "Frequently" - Like a Child -

"COMPLAIN" to -

"THEM"

About Certain Occurrences in my Life

!!!!!!!!

And - ok - Yes... I Would Also - Like a Reassurance-seeking Child - Often be Asking -

"THEM"

To Perhaps - Either - "Show Me a Sign" or a "Spiritual-Indication"

That I Had - in Fact - Spiritually-Heard -

"THEM"

Correctly

& Especially Following Certain Requests;

That I "Obviously" Didn't Want to Hear in the First Place;

Like My Having to Hand in My Driver's License;

& My Thereby - Fully Giving up the Rite to Drive!

As I Personally Believe - That - Asking For Emotional Reassurance - or a Confirmation -

In Cases Such as What I've Recently Shared with You -

Is Not the Same as Continuously Asking - "WHY?"

Anyway - Getting Back on Track "AGAIN" -

~~~~~~~

The Point Here Being That -

There I Was...

Upon Our Departure From Charleston N.C.

Still Not Knowing -

"Why" I Had Been Told by My -

"Spiritual-Guide"

To Give up My Driving License...

Back at - The Very Beginning of This - Re-locating Voyage

??????????

& YET - There I Was -

At That Particular "Emotionally-Turmoil" Re-rooting Moment in My Life...

Due to My 2 Dragonfly Gifts - & The TWO - VIA -

"Boss-Upstairs Messages"

That I've Received With Each One of Them

Amen

Finding Myself -

Amazingly Feeling - Completely at "Emotional-Ease"... & No Longer Worried - At All -

As I was "Now" Being - Ongoingly -

"Spiritually-Filled"

During Each New Moment - of That Relocation-Voyage...

With an Unexplainable Aura - of -

"Loving Inner-Peace"

Amen

Including Even as - We - a Week Following My Receiving the 12 Balancing Dragonflies...

& Hence - Shortly Following my Receiving That "Positive Prayer Pebble"

Began Docking Our Boat...

At Our New (Relocating to) Home-base Destination...

& Then... - If We Now - Fast-Forward - to when -

It Would've Been a Few days Following that Arrival Day -

At Our New Homebase Location

That -

While My Husband & I were Out Running Some Errands...

And Basically Jumping from one location to Another; while do so

That We'd decided - that the easiest way for us to quickly check & see,

If the Next Item - That We're looking for,

Was actually available at the place we'd just entered the parking lot of...

????????

Would be for me to just quickly run in and ask, while he just waited in the car;

Rather than try and find a parking space; as the lot was obviously full.

& It was - Just a few Seconds - after I'd "Exited" the Building...

And was about 20 feet from where my Husband had "Temp-parked" our car...

That Suddenly - & I Do Mean "SUDDENLY!!!" -

I "Once Again" - Felt an Excruciating "Pressure-pain" Headache -

BUT - This One - Unlike All The Ones in My Past - Felt Like a Litterall - "EXPLOSION" -

& - at a Way Higher, Faster & Stronger - Intensifying Pain Level -

That What I'd Ever Experienced Before!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Quickly Clasped - & Pressed - Both Hands onto the Sides of my Head -

Like as if I was Actually Going to be able to Hold Everything Inside it Together -

By my Somehow Stopping This "Expanding-brain" - From Continuing to Enlarge -

In an Obviously (Non-expandable) Tight-Skull!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Began to Feel Like as if - I was "Metaphorically" -

Standing on a - "Reverse-scenario" Merry-go-round -

Since I Knew That I was Obviously Standing Perfectly Still - in this "One Location" -

& Yet - All of the Objects, Structures, People, & Even Every Vehicle Near me -

Were Suddenly Spinning Past Me - & at a Rapidly Increasing Speed

!!!!!!!!!!

& it Was - While the Pressure-Pain was Still Intensifying -

And as The (exterior) Merry-go-round began to Spin Even Faster!

That I Quickly "Gasped Inward" - Before "Stiffly Releasing" -

All of My Remaining Airpassage-Strength -

With What - I Literally Believed to be - My "Final Gasp" of Air -

"HELP"

!!!!!!!!!

Before Suddenly - Losing all Muscular Control -

Of the Entire Right Side of my body;

Thereby Causing it to Become Completely Powerless -

As I "Stiffly" (like a Tapped-upon Stick-person) Collapsed - onto the Hard Pavement.

At The Very Moment - I Made Physical Contact with the Concrete...

I Felt Each of the Muscles - on my Entire Right Side;

From my Face Right Down to my Toes...

Beginning to Tighten... as They All Rapidly Began "Retracting" Inward -

& Almost "Shrinking" - Like Pure Wet-Cotton Does - if Placed into a Overheated Dryer

Prior to me Contorting-ly-Pressing - My Right Arms and Legs - Strongly up Against Me!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Resulting in - My Entire Right Side Going Into a - Tight Fetal-position -

While the Whole Right Side of my Face was Suddenly Becoming Distorted -

& Just Before -

My Right Hand - Began Looking like a Vacuum-sucked Dehydrated Chicken Claw

!!!!!!!!!!!... (um... No Offence To Be Taken Towards a Chicken's claw or foot)

I Began to Hear my Husband's Alarmed-Voice - But was Unable to respond to Him...

As My Ability to Verbalize Was Gone... Since I Couldn't Move My Tongue...

or (For That Matter) Any of the Right-side Facial Muscles...

As the Whole Right Side of My Face - No Longer Had Any Feeling to it!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Began to Hear Multiple Loud Voices - Along with My husband's - Hollering -

"Call 911" -

"Is There a Dr or Nurse Nearby?"

"Somebody Call an Ambulance!" -

Followed by the - Supportive sounds of -

"Don't Worry!"

"Help is on the Way!"...

"Is there Anything I can do to Help?"

!!!!!

While Trying to make Eye Contact - & Speak - with my Husband -

After he'd kneeled down so that he could hold me in his arms...

I heard Him Say -

"Don't try to talk... Just Stay Calm... I'm Here... You'll be Ok"

!!!!!!!!!!

& It Was Then - As I Began to Hear the Increasing Volume of an Ambulance Siren...

That I Suddenly Felt Those -

"Loving Spiritual Goosebumps"

As They "Once Again" Began to Emblanket Me

Amen

& it Was - as -

"Their Extremely Powerful Loving Warmth"

Immediately Brought -

Spiritual-Peace -

Both Upon & in Me -

That I Suddenly Calmed Down - While I Inwardly Began Thanking My -

"Spiritual Guide"

For the Fact That -

Thanks to

"THEM"

Forewarning me... Back in Miraculous Moment #6 Chapter #2

On the day Before I got on that plane -

That I - "Had Handed in My Driver's Licence"... or I'd of Just Now - Injured Somebody

Amen

As It Was Clearly - Because I Had Been Open to Listening to -

"THEM" That I'd Fortunately Not Been Driving Today - & That Hence - the Ambulance -

Which I Just Now Heard - was Coming to a Stop - Somewhere Near to me -

& Prior to the Voices of Paramedics - Asking for Information -

Was Only Coming for Me

Amen

What I Didn't Know Yet -

While Hearing Those Sirens Approaching - Followed By the Voices of the Paramedics -

Was That - It was Going to be That "Blessed Ambulance" ride -

That Would Eventually Lead Me to - My Whole -

"New Beginning"

Where I Would Soon Be Able to "Rise Up" -

"COMPLETELY"

Out of - All the Darkness... From My Past...

Just Like a Dragonfly - When Taking Their First Flight -

And While Doing so - Be Suddenly Able to Let Go of -

Many Emotional-Burdens - That My Muddy Past-Darkness was Still Holding Onto

As I Layed There - on that Hard Pavement - Unable to Speak -

I Knew - For Sure - That I Was In For a Drastic Change in My life -

- & I "Literally" Felt Like as if - I Would Soon Become Even Closer to - THE -

"Loving Energy - of The Guiding Light"

That I've Always Known Was (Continuously) There For Me -

And

"WHOSE"

Peace & Love - I Suddenly Felt - More Strongly than Ever Before!

!!!!!!!

However - What I Didn't Know - Was That -

Although I was "Right" to "Assume" -

That My Life - as I Currently Knew it to Be - Would Soon Be "Ending" -

That I was Actually "Not" Going to Be "Passing Over" - to The -

"Other Side" But Rather - That I was Soon - Going to Be "Reborn" -

Just Like That of a - "Dragonfly"

That's About to Take Flight

Amen

As I Had Still - Not Yet - Discovered (FULLY) What Exactly -

"That Loving Energy"

Could in Fact

"Miraculously"

Do Both - To - & For - Me - & All of Those - Who are Open to

"THEM"

Amen

For I Was Still - Currently Dwelling Behind a Sheet of Darkness -

As the Paramedics Began Transporting me to The Hospital Emergency -

By The Time I Arrived at the Hospital - I was Partially Able to Speak Again -

Although My Words Still had a Strong Slur to them -

& I Still Had Just a Minimal use of the Right Side of My body

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of the First Things that I was asked by the Nurse;

in the Hospital Emergency Department -

Was -

"Are you on Any Medication - And if So - What Dosage Levels do You Take?"

???????

Shortly After I'd Answered Their Questions;

& They'd Checked & Recorded All of my Vitals -

I Was Seen By The Dr. on Call

??????????

Who Asked me - Right Away - Following their Introduction -

"Do You Have a Lot of Trouble Sleeping?"

To which I Replied -

"Yes - That's Why I Take Medication to Help Me With It"

They Replied -

"Uh Huh"

They Then Asked -

"Do You Ever Experience Sudden Headaches -

That Build up Really Quickly In Pain Level - But Then Just Suddenly Stop?"

To Which I Replied -

"Yes - That's why I'm on The Pain Medication -

Because I've Been Told That the Headaches are caused By Scar Tissue from -

The Two Brain Surgeries"

To Which The Dr Responded -

"Uh Huh"

They Then Asked -

"Are You - And Have You Been - Experiencing any - Emotional Difficulties?"

I Responded with -

"What Do You Mean?" ... "I Don't Know What You're Asking Me"

They Replied -

"Have You Ever Felt Extremely Depressed?" - And Perhaps Even"Almost Suicidal"?"

To Which I "Firmly" Responded -

"I'm Not Answering That Question - Until You Explain -

"Why" - You're Asking it In The First Place"

!!!!!!!!

I Mean - Heck Folks - I Might Not Have Been Fully Cognitive - But I Still Knew -

That If I Answered That Last question "Honestly" -

That I'd Likely Get Zipped-up - & Not Be "Aloud Out" of Here -

The Dr Replied -

"I'm Asking Becuase - You're Currently on a Toxic Drug Mix -

As Clobazam (Tegretol) is Not to Be Combined With Lamotrigine"

!!!!!!!!!!!

"And One of the First Signs of the Toxicity - is "Sleep-deprivation"

"The Second Sign is - Pressure Building Headaches"

And Then -

If Those First Two Side Effects Aren't Caught in Time...

Or They Continue to Go Undetected - Or Un-diagnosed -

& The Person Hasn't been Taken off of That Combination -

Then They'll Have Likely Become Extremely Depressed & Often Suicidal"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My Response was - "Silence"

!!!!!!!!!!!!

Followed a few seconds Later By a Extremely Cautious -

"OK - Yes - I Will Admit That -

I've Quite Frequently Felt an Emotional Darkness - & For Quite Awhile Now!"

"BUT - I Need You To Understand That - Due to My Religious Beliefs - And My Faith -

That I Can Assure You - That I Would Never "Follow Through" With -

Allowing That Darkness - Or What I Refer to as "A Dark Cloud Hanging Over Me" -

To "Overcome Me" - And Actually Commit Suicide!"

Now - As I'm trying to Keep Each Blog Posting - Under a 10 minute Read -

I'm Obviously Going to Want to Bring Closure To This Current Chapter

~~~~~~~~~~~

Which I of Course - Feel Comfortable Doing - As I've Now Answered -

All 3 of those Question - Concerning -

"How" - The Dragonfly Was Brought into My Life -

"When" - I Was - Through - Spiritual Intervention - Given Them

And Lastly - on Today's Posting -

I've Explained

"WHY"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

& So - I Just Want You To Know That -

As I Currently Look Back on That Time Period in My Life -

(Which is Now - Over 10 Years From when The Last 3 Blogs had Each Unfolded)

I Can Clearly See - The Metaphoric Symbolism - Behind The Dragonfly...

And Hence Why it Was Actually Used (Given to Me) as a -

"Spiritual Sign"

By My -

"Boss Upstairs"

Amen

Because -

Just Like the Dragonfly -

I Had Spent a Long Period of my Life - In Complete Darkness -

While Experiencing Memory-erasing Seizures for Over 45 years - from birth onward -

Until The Second Brain Surgery was done -

And During which Operation - They Removed 3 Years Off of My Recent Memory-bank -

Followed by the 10 years (I've just relieved with you) on a Toxic Medication-mixture!

Until I Was Suddenly - Following that Ambulance Ride -

Able to Climb Up Out of that Darkness -

While Being Given Short Glimpses of a Brighter Future -

As I Gradually Began Emerging up from it

Amen

That Ambulance Ride - That I Shared with You Today -

I Look Back at as Being - The Moment in Which I Began to "Fully Emerge" -

The Hospital Diagnoses - Was When I Suddenly Understood "Where" I was Heading -

And The Next Few Months Following that Toxic-Med Diagnoses -

Will Become the Time Period In Which -

I'll Suddenly - For the First time in my life -

Begin to Become - Both Seizure and Also Medication Free -

While "Faithfully" Holding Onto the Security & Strength -

of My Emotional-Reed (of Spiritual Belief & Trust) -

& as That Shell of Confinement & Limitations - Began to Harden & Crack Open -

Thereby - Enabling Me to Suddenly Completely Break Free of it -

So That I -

Just Like the Dragonfly

Could Eventually Begin to Actually take -

"Full-Flight"

Towards this Present Moment In Which - I'm Able to Converse With Others -

Like I'm Currently Able to do Today -

While Sharing My Journey(s) With Them

Amen

And so -

Until We Can Blog Chat Again -

I'll Continue to Pray & Meditate - That -

Others While Reading My Blog - Will Come to The Realization That -

The -

"Loving Spiritual Energy"

That Introduced Me to - The Spiritual-Symbolism - Behind the Dragonfly -

While Enabling Me to Take Flight Into A Whole New Life

Amen

Is "Always" There With Them as Well

& That They Just Have to be Open - to Both Receiving - & Hearing

"IT"

Call Their Name

Amen

Signed -

Mary Not Me

at - whatisthenameofmyblog.com